When you just want to curl up into a ball…

by Anna Blanch on February 10, 2010

A little dose of thankfulness makes the hard times a little easier to swallow. That’s what I decided after I abandoned the idea that it would be good for my mental health if I curled up with (soy) icecream and watched emotionally charged movies in order to precipitate the tears I was stopping from flowing. But instead I choose thankfulness and prayer. There’s been a few days lately where all I can do for those I love who are struggling is to pray. It is hugely comforting that I can do that. But it still hard to be on another continent. It isn’t much comfort that this is a life I have chosen; not when those I love are hurting.

So, I don’t mind if you think it cliched. I don’t mind if you dismiss this blog’s serious message and the much more academic content because this post is personal. I am more than just the intellectual parts of this blog. I am passionate about many things – and my family is most definitely one of the things that causes displays of emotion! I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, and a friend as well as being a teacher, a student, a scholar, a writer, a scholar-blogger. And as i am learning more and more my emotional state directly impacts my scholarly productivity. I am definitely no robot and I don’t really want to be someone who buries themselves in work during difficult times.

I got some tough news this week about some struggles my beautiful, fiery, paternal grandmother is going through. This post will be about thankfulness, but before all of that, can i just say I HATE CANCER. With almost even fibre of my being I want to pummel those horrible, invading cells into submission.

Between the critical theory I am wading through at the moment and the sadness weighing on my heart I haven’t felt much like work in the last couple of days. I am trying to hanging in there and keep the habit of writing a little each day no matter what through it all.

2009-2010 are feeling like the years of traveling – trains and planes aplenty and continents and jet lag. But I will suffer all the jet lag in the world to spend time with my family.

Now to be thankful and to share that thankfulness.

  • I am thankful for a family who loves each other; as imperfect as I am this is an incredible blessing.
  • I am thankful for the wonderful example and encouragement all of my grandparents have been over the course of my life. The way they have loved and nurtured me in their own ways has shaped who I am more fundamentally than I can articulate.
  • I am thankful for faith and that I can pray.
  • I am thankful for the opportunity to pursue my passion as my job.
  • I am thankful that I am going to be in Australia in about 7 weeks!
  • I am thankful for friends who help me to not be as self-focused as I might otherwise be (and get me to play board games and watch silly movies from the early 90’s that make me laugh).

The thankfulness thing is catching (kind of) and as usual Rebecca always encourages me with her spirit of thankfulness and hope.

What are you thankful for?

Photo credit: JustineVictoria Via I Heart It

  • Ali Stone

    I'm sorry to read this Anna! Sending cyber hugs and assurance of prayers as you miss your precious grandmother and grieve her illness. Thanks for the reminder to be thankful in all circumstances. May the peace of God rule in your heart as you keep looking to Him ( Colossians 3:15) Much love, ali xo

  • http://goannatree.blogspot.com Goannatree

    Hey Ali, so great to see you here! Thankyou for encouragement. I love Colossians and I will definitely take another look at that passage during my quiet time today. I am so grateful that I have such capable family around her – especially my talented, medically trained, sisters! but you know what is like to be far away from family because that's where God has you. I've loved seeing photos and updates of your growing family too. You and James are a great inspiration to me! A.

  • Kat

    Hey, I just read your blog, and it was very touching

    I was struggling and looking for something to cheer me up and this is the first thing I came across 🙂 Thankyou very much for helping me be thankful and remembering God is in control 🙂

  • http://goannatree.blogspot.com Goannatree
  • Marie

    I don't know why or how I came to find your site/blog along the way until I did in fact read it, but I don't do blogs, so what I would like to do it to communicate with you regarding the contents of your blog…..but not on a public page…..I think you have my email and so I hope you do reply to my comment here as there is always hope at the end of the rainbow. Cheers

  • Pingback: The haar in the pit of my stomach — Goannatree()

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