morning will come.

by Anna Blanch on December 22, 2011

It is not the cold that affects us Australians so much, but the horrible gloom. We get heart-sick for the sun.

Henry Lawson is on the money. And despite writing that line 110 years ago, this has also be my experience as an expat in the UK. This winter has been really hard for me. Much harder than my first winter in Scotland 2 years ago. I’ve felt almost claustrophobic. This is probably made worse by my seeming inability to avoid getting ill whenever the damp air hits my lungs. I’ve almost become a bit hesitant to go outside? How/When did  I become that person?

Today is the solstice. the shortest day of the year. Some day I will regale people with tales of what it is like to live so far north. further north than australia is south. Moscow equivalent north, hudson Bay North. North.

I try to remind my self of the further up and further in and think of this as showing me the true value of the spring and summer; That now i understand the yearning for the changes of seasons and why they warrant so much celebration! the seasons will come, they will change. Morning will follow night.

But, believe me, such rationalisations do not always help in the midst of the oppressive bleakness of the gloom. Yet, I continue to grasp onto the hope that the sun will come out tomorrow (even if it never does).

Tomorrow there will be 6 more seconds of daylight, and it will be rejoiced upon. six seconds. Joy comes easily in these things. relief does too.

I am a child of the light. The warm orangey pink glow of the Australian sun, the crisp bright blue of the Australian sky. I like the smell of rain coming and the smell of having just come. My heart is full thinking of the feel of warmth and cool intermingled in the salty beach air mixed with a little sandy grit. More than anything, I miss the heat and the light. My whole being aches for them.

I can live anywhere…but do i want to?

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