a journeywoman

by Anna Blanch on December 30, 2011

For the last couple of months I’ve been trying to figure out why i’ve been feeling a weird kind of restless. I’ve been faced with some harsh realities, some new opportunities, and some possibilities lately which have given me a chance to decide where to from here. I realised I am a seeker.* Dreams, goals and projects are part of who I am.

And it’s prompted a big decision. A decision I didn’t think i’d be making.

I’ve often described my life as having been an adventure. A three continents in three years kind of adventure. A three professions in ten kind of adventure. It’s the blank cheque life that I came to realise was part of my journey with God about eight or so years ago. It’s the wonderful friends and communities I’ve been privileged to be part of that make me pause. They make it easy to come, easy to stay and hard to leave.

These ‘blank cheque’ commitments have been tested, and will continue to bear. They are the kind of not-without-the-fire-of-life commitments that one equally must not be proud of for your own sake. Even still, if i hadn’t sat with them through years and across continents I wouldn’t be sharing them with you now. They are not commitments without cost. Nor are they commitments kept in your own strength.

In its most trivial, it is a life experience that both takes a deep breath when considering the long haul flight but doesn’t let it faze me. It’s the enaction of the “It’s all relative when it comes to international travel” that comes from being Australian! At it’s deepest, it is a longing to be willing always. to honestly, and in the quiet of my heart, to be able to say:

I will go anywhere! I will hold all that I have lightly!

But even this decision has even knocked me sideways. This is a decision that isn’t about external factors making the way obvious.

There isn’t a massive “sign” that seems to declare “this is the way you shall go.”

You see, the moves from Australia to the US and then to Scotland was about graduate school and the availability of funding (and work) that came with those offers and the fairly spectacular ways in which obstacles were overcome that could not have been overcome by me (or any other person) alone. The way seemed most obvious, even when it wasn’t the road most travelled – turning down a fully funded PhD in the States before finding out about funding in Scotland could even be considered reckless. How i came to move to Scotland was pretty out of the ordinary (i should share that story some time).

This decision, however,  is (in a really weird kind of way) about me. Actually, it’s sort of about alot of people that aren’t me too! It’s about putting my vocation into practice in the country whose heartbeat I feel. It is about family, and treasuring those moments. It is about realising that the world is a different place than the one that existed when I moved to the US 4 1/2 years ago.

This is a proactive decision. But it’s also one that is about stepping out into the unknown a little while also being able to relish to known, the cherished, the familiar. It is about making places. It is about returning to a place and knowing it for the very first time. It’s also about seeing the world anew. It is about serving others.

After that massively long preamble, here goes:

 

In a few months, Australia will once again become my home.

 

I’ve told my supervisors and my family .

I worked through many aspects of this decision with friends who know me and love me.

I have flights. which i guess means it is official!

I’m already overwhelmed by how much there is to do. moving to the other side of the world is not exactly straight forward. but first, i still have a couple more days off!

In the meantime – I’m embracing my reality as a journeywoman. And moving to the land of my birth is merely an extension of that.

*I’m so not talking the Harry Potter kind.

Connect with Anna on Academia.edu, Linked In, facebook page, & Twitter.

Subscribe to Goannatree

_____________

I wouldn’t be involved in Life:Unmasked if it wasn’t for Life: Unmaskedthis challenge and invitation  from the lovely, Joy. This post I wrote about “getting real” prompted my involvement with This Life: Unmasked. This is my thirteenth post for the challenge. Here is my first: Life: UnMasked, my second, Ready or Not, my third, Is the Heart Home?, my fourth, Like Fireflies in the Night and Swallows in the morning, my fifth, This is a Choice, and my sixth, A little less of a superhero, my seventh, Just another day…, my eighth, In Control? and my ninth, The travails of my single mindedness and my tenth, marking time, marking place and my eleventh, and my twelfth.

Related posts:

Previous post:

Next post: