I am a writer

by Anna Blanch on February 20, 2013

coffee shopHi, my name is Anna Blanch and I am a writer.

Jeff Goins states my hope for my writing clearly:

“We have an opportunity. To write words that matter, to change lives with language.” (6)

So here goes nothing, I’m now a writer with two part time jobs to pay the bills.

With the part-time jobs for the near future I’ll be working towards the writing, editing, art-making, and teaching being the thing that pays the bills. But for now, this works. And it feels kind of poetic. Poetic and maybe a little cliched.

Yet, who cares if others have walked this path before me?

The craziness of my life makes more sense to me when I see each day as ripe with the opportunity to learn something new, as a moment when I might meaningfully connect with other humans, and as a chance to be creative and to find beauty in the midst of it all. Writing and editing of the thesis and all else happens in the early hours of the morning. Waking at 5:30am has never been more of a gift.

But let’s not kid. Life is tough at the moment. Prayer and one foot in front of the other is about all i can manage right now. Everything else is a bit beyond reach at present. The next month should see a number of things outside my control change shape and some pressure relieved. But for right now, (uncharacteristically) withdrawing feels like the way to preserve the little emotional strength I have at the moment.

I have been writing, but also uncharacteristically have not been sharing that writing. It has been time for withdrawal into myself, in part because to do otherwise feels like I might break into a thousand little pieces and I don’t have time to be put back together again in painstaking detail. Rather I’m kind of hoping that the cracks will have new growth mend them, much like what happens to bones in a walking cast, or green limbs on trees following a large storm whereupon those knobby bits grow over the split.

So, in the midst of all else: the hopes, the staggering heart break, the tiredness and anxiety, the sense of letting others down and not meeting my own expectations, the dreams, and the searching out, and the quiet prayers of my heart, and the loud ugly cries of my sadness. In the midst of all of this, I am a writer. I am a daughter of God.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=656235160 Bex Lewis

    Thanks for what you have contributed to #BigRead13 in the midst of all this! Take care. xx

    • http://www.goannatree.com/ Goannatree

      sweet Dr Bex! I hope you are having an awesome time with Tearfund in Uganda. I appreciate immensely the opportunity to contribute to #BigRead13. Thanks for your patiencee, friend!

  • http://www.facebook.com/BrianMitchell555 Brian Mitchell

    Hi Anna. I often read what you write and I enjoy doing so. I have to be honest and say I haven’t done so for a few months but I felt prompted me to read this and I am so glad I did.

    When I see your posts on FB I recall that young fun loving, funny, cheeky girl who I met water skiing at Lake Keepit. It was a great and fun time in my life and I have treasured memories of the McHattons, Blanches, Granthams and all the crew. Ha ha! I just recalled at a party for Maritus Abberfield she flicked a blob of cream from a cream covered cake in my face so I picked up the whole cake and rubbed it in her face…the shocked look on her face as the cake was coming at her I remember well. She just started laughing and as was everyone else. Life goes on but it’s memories like these that I hold close to my heart and treasure. These memories and others I lean on when times get tough.

    Anyway young girl from Manilla I hope all is o’k for you. Next time you and your family have a get together let me know as Julia and I would love to come along.

    Love, wishes and prayers,

    Mitch.

    • http://www.goannatree.com/ Goannatree

      Mitch, thanks for making me smile. When I think of the fun we all had then (and now when we get together), i consider it a real blessing. thanks for reminding me of some of those times! I think we all have seasons which are tougher than others. this is one that’s a little more like walking through molasses than air for me right now, but at least i’m still moving forward and I’m so blessed to have the family and friends that I do! Let me know the next time you guys are heading down south and we will sort something fun out!! A.
      ps: I could really handle going water-skiing sometime soon too!

  • Jeff

    Love it.

    • http://www.goannatree.com/ Goannatree

      Jeff, thank you. It means much from you. (apologies for not linking properly, will edit when i get the chance).

  • http://lisanotes.blogspot.com/ Lisa notes…

    Being a writer just means we write, not that we have to share what we write. It’s good that you can go easy on yourself when you need to. You sound like a beautiful daughter of God to me!

    • http://www.goannatree.com/ Goannatree

      Lisa, this is true. I sit here with a pile of notebooks full of fragments and sift to find the truth and the gems. I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves. thanks for reminding me that silence is okay too…

  • http://www.tanyamarlow.com/ Tanya Marlow

    You are a writer.

    Loved this, esp the last paragraph. It’s lovely checking in on you again! (Coming via Joy Bennet’s). X

    • http://www.goannatree.com/ Goannatree

      Tanya, thank you. I appreciate the encouragement. It’s appropriate that you’ve come here by way of Joy’s, for it is because of her in no small way that I’ve tried to be more vulnerable in this space. A.

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